Flying Solo Sucks Nuts!

Get it? Like airplane nuts? Ya know... PEAnuts? Well, I thought it was funny.... Anywhoooo...
I’m going to the states next week.  That’s why, this week, I’m losing my freaking mind.

I am excited.
But I’m also kinda freaked out cause I’m going ALOOONE. Yes. ALONE. All by myself. Solo. Sin nadie. On my own.  Like, carrying my own luggage, checking myself in, buying my own airport snacks. All of it. I’m gonna be in charge of all that stuff.

And that is just not how we do it.

How we do it is El Chupacabra and the kids do everything while I stand nearby wearing sunglasses, with an impressive scowl on my face, pretending that he’s my body guard and I do not know who the hell those loud, economy class kids belong to. Then, after we get through security, I sit, with my feet up on a carry-on, and they run around the terminal getting me a Cinnabon and a coffee... and a Newspaper (a spanish newspaper, but not that one with all the slutty girls in thong bikinis, the other one that’s not full of porn and ads for 1 hours motel rooms)... and gum... and a handful of those chocolate covered espresso beans they give as free samples in the gift shop... and some napkins... and a water bottle.  After I have everything I need, they sit around me, strategically, while I pretend to send texts, but really I’m take pictures of people wearing retarded outfits. 
Ok. So maybe that’s not exactly how we do it.  But it’s close.  
No. For real?  The big thing, the thing that’s making me wet my pants, is that I absolutely HATE to fly.  I hate it.  And I extra hate it when I have to do it alone!  I was just telling El Chupacabra, last night, that if God has been looking to smite me, He’ll probably do it next Friday by crashing the plane.  And he was all, “Yeah, probably...”

So anyway...
The point is, I’m no good by myself.  My family makes me a better person.  And I can’t handle all the pressure of...like....buying my own Cinnabon and crap.  
Oh well. 
I haven't decided, but I’m thinking of wearing something like this charming little number from Costa Rica to Houston:

*shrugs* Seems like a perfectly reasonable thing to wear on an international flight.

I wonder what the chances are of the person next to me holding my hand during take-off and landing? I'd really like that...


  1. I flew back and forth from Costa Rica like five times by myself, you will be fine.
    and, people would probably actually think you are lady gaga if you look like that, and you would probably get free cinnabon. just sayin.

  2. hahaha, I think the use of support $ for airport loot is brilliant! But I agree with anonymous...you're probably likely to get free stuff with an outfit like that.

  3. Dear littlest big sister,

    I dont like flying by myself either and I have held hands with SEVERAL strangers on flights. I am ok with it. I am really excited to see you. I wish it was sooner and for longer. Love you! XOXOXOX.


  4. Flying solo is awesome! People magazine (en Espanol), no one to take care of...just sit back and relax and enjoy it.

  5. I'm terrified of flying, so I feel for you. Don't know if I could fly without Joel...

    If you do go to the airport dressed as Lady Gaga, though, please post pictures. ;)

  6. Heather? HI! Bahaha.

    I know EXACTLY what you mean, Jamie!! I have to fly back from Honduras BY MYSELF. I can't even DRIVE most places by myself. Seriously. I have a friend who goes with me and tells me everywhere I need to go. I can't IMAGINE flying ALONE.

  7. I'm glad you posted this. I'm getting on a plane in a couple days (our last one was rescheduled to to volcanic ash in the air---how's that for skeery?) and I also hate to fly. My hatred of flying gets worse as I age (not that I'm old or anything---though my wii says I'm 66).

    I'll be thinking of you! Think of me, k? I'm flying with 5 kiddos. I'm screaming in my mind...

  8. Oh my gosh, you are so FREAKIN' hilarious! Thank you for such an honest bog. I LOVE it and am now an avid reader.

    ps. You will make it...focus on the happy ending of this terrifying journey. And I'm also sure the Lord is going to give you a sweet, strong person (eve if you have to persuade the flight attendant to sit by you...hey, she's paid, she has to do it) to hold your hand.

  9. wow. Carrie, I will be praying for you sister! That is going to be f.u.n. !!!!! and lots of benedryl....did i say that?

    Jamie~ put some tunes in your ears and rock out. that's what I do. (except when the Pilot says something...;)and read your bible. helps when you say, God isn't done with me yet....LOL..!!!

    Have a great trip.

  10. First time I ever flew alone, I was petrified, but I couldn't confess it to anyone for fear my mother (who practically thought Satan invented airplanes to tempt us) would find out and worry MORE than she was already worrying.

    But I did it. The trick is, go carry-on-only. That way you don't have to check baggage. And people automatically assume that you are an accomplished traveler.

    Though that little number in the pix would make people think you were a movie star who'd lost her bodyguard. :-)

  11. Don't you think there would be easier ways to smite you with much less collateral damage?... actually, I might give up driving alone here...
    Have a great time if I don't see you b/f then and let me know if there's anything I can do for you... I know you won't but I'm saying it anyway.

  12. I agree with the others, you need to take pictures of whatever garb you throw on. Although if you dress like that your fellow passengers might be frightened to hold your hand haha


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