...No, not you. YOU, El Chupacabra!
1. You are the smartest human I know. Ok, but that’s not the thing. The thing is that you don’t need for people to know how smart you are. And we’ve known a lot of douchebaggy people that think they’re smart and want everyone to know how smart they are and mostly I just feel embarrassed for them, in part, because you’ve let them treat you like you’re a big, dumb, jock/cop/construction worker without telling them that you were invited to join Mensa in high school, or that you were an Academic Decathlon geek, or that you were, like, the only athlete living in the Freshman honors dorm in college, or that you studied Math and Engineering while also playing football with a wife and baby at home. And then, when you bust out with some super nerd jargon, or when you whomp ass in a game of RISK, or whatever, everybody acts all surprised and you’re just like, “What...?”
2. You smell AMAZING. And I know if I said that out loud you’d say “Thank you, I just farted.” Which is a super lame joke but still makes me chuckle. But really...amazing...
3. A loooong time ago you took me across the California state line into Nevada, and we’ve been crossing all kinds of lines, borders, and boundaries together ever since. And I never would have had the guts to do any of it without you. And now we’re missionaries and everything and in some ways I totally owe that to you. (I know that sometimes I say that as if I’m blaming you for something really awful, but usually I mean it like I’m thanking you for something really great.)
4. You’re cool. No... for real.
5. You’ve gotten really good at apologizing when you’re wrong. And not freaking out when I should be apologizing when I’m wrong but I don’t because I’m still trying to get as good at it as you.
6. In the past 3 years I’ve said to you again and again, “But... you don’t know how to do that.”...”You don’t know how to weld.”, “You don’t know how to build furniture, from like, trees.”, “You don’t know how to surf.”, “You don’t know how to speak Spanish.”, “You don’t know how to coach a football team.” And then you’ve gone and done all those things, plus a million more. And I love that you’re not intimidated by anything, ever....
7. But even more I love that you’ve taught me how to be a learner. And you’ve encouraged me again and again, by saying “You can learn to do that.”.... “You can learn how to make flan.”, “You can learn to speak Spanish.”, “You can learn how to write a blog.” “Maybe you can learn to use punctuation properly.”
8. You make chinese fried rice, and it is awesome.
9. You tell me I’m pretty when I look like Oscar the Grouch took a steamy dump on my head. And I know I act like I’m all mad, but really? I love that you love me best when I’m a hot mess.
10. We like most of the same TV. That’s a pretty big deal relationshipnally.
11. You don’t care that I make up new words all the time and use them as if no one notices. And you didn’t correct me for 15 years while I said “For all intensive purposes.” Which might annoy some people, but to me just says that you know what matters and you don’t get bent out of shape about what doesn’t.
12. You can laugh at yourself.
13. You can laugh at me.
14. We can laugh at us together.
15. The other night when you were outside at 11pm killing massive amounts of cockroaches with cancer causing poison, I was struck, once again, by how you are always willing to take on the biggest, dirtiest, worst jobs.... and maybe that’s how you ended up with me 16 years ago. And I thanked God for you.
16. Um. That thing I said yesterday? About the way you took off your shirt.... Yeah, you still do that, and it still makes me bite my bottom lip. ;)
Happy 16th Anniversary. Here’s to another...however-many-you-can-take. Cheers!