9.10.2010

The rest of the last post.

This is the rest of the last post.

So I was laying in the back yard, reading a book, and completely freaking out, thinking that at any moment an angry crab was going to surface from some mysterious place and snip my big toe off with its razor sharp claws, and that’s when it hit me, the moral to this morning’s post.

See. I just can’t get my head around where these crabs come from. Ya know? Crabs belong on the beach, they belong in the sun, they live in little sand caves and they hang out with mermaids. Everybody knows this.

So why are they here?!....in the mountains…sneaking into our friends house when it rains… skittering across our tile floors… kidnapping our children? (ok. I made that last part up.)

I’ve read about some phenomenon where it can rain fish, or frogs, or other creepy aquatic creatures. It said that sometimes critters get sucked up by a funnel cloud as it rushes over a body of water and later drops them from the sky like some kind of Biblical plague. But I don’t think that’s how Costa Rica got crabs everywhere. I mean, maybe. I guess it could have happened like that. But, honestly, I have no idea why there are crabs in our mountain town, far from the sea. Not even an inkling of how or why or what they’re doing here.

And its bugging the crap out of me.

I want to know.

I want to understand.

I want a reason.

Reasons make me feel better about the weird ways in which the world works. It’s like if I can know that there’s a good reason for why we have mountain crabs, then I can trust that other seemingly unexplainable things, disturbing things, horrible things, even straight up bizarre things have good reasons, too.

But I’m learning that I don’t always get to have the answers that I’m looking for. Sometimes I feel like my incessant “Why?” is being answered by a cosmic, “Because I said so.”

So, like the spiritual baby I am, I tend to throw a whiny, that’s-not-fair! kind of fit ending with me turning my back and crossing my arms, and declaring that I’m never talking to God again. And He’s like, “Ok.”

Because He already knows what I fail to grasp, and that is that my understanding of His truth isn’t what makes it true, and that having Faith means trusting Him even though I don’t always “get it”.

Sometimes you just have to say,

“I have crabs. And I’m okay with it.”

And, yeah, I’ll be adding that to my growing list of VWM t-shirt slogans.