I've been meaning to ask you something...

...Oops... I meant to say, "I've been meaning to ask you FOR something."

Ok. I can't believe I'm about to do this. So, first, here are the prerequisite caveats to anything having to do with asking for money:

If you're new here, feel free to ignore this. (And DON'T EVEN shrug your shoulders and mutter to yourself about how it just figures that a missionary would be asking for money, because this is the extreme exception to the norm on the VWM... Buddy. Anyway. Feel free to check out the stripper post, the crack-whore post, or the post where I call the church a social club, or this one, from back in the day, when a lizard got way too close to my girl-howdie. You probably came looking for one of those anyway.)

2. If you're old here, feel free to ignore this.

Please be aware that this is my least favorite part of being a missionary.

Know that I wouldn't be writing this post at all if I didn't feel like this is something I was supposed to have written months ago but didn't, and now every time I hit post on something new this little voice inside of me (or possibly outside of me) is asking when I'm going to stop putting it off.

I mentioned this not being enjoyable, right? But I really hope you understand deep, deep down that this is the woooooorst part of the whole gig for me.

*deep breath*

Ok. So you know I'm a missionary - and one of the things about being a missionary is that you have to do this thing where you go around asking every single person you've ever met if they would like to give you money. It is exactly as awful as it sounds, and goes something like this:

"Excuse me, sir-in-the-grocery-store. Didn't I see you at the coffee counter at church last week? Well, isn't that a coincidence! I just stopped you - of course to say
hello - but also, to let you know that my husband and I are missionaries, about to embark on the great adventure of being and making disciples in the faraway land of Costa Rica..... and I was wondering if you might be interested in helping us along the way.....ya know..... maybe..... somehow......"

It's kinda like selling girl scout cookies. But not. And instead of promising a box full of delicious goodies in exchange for a few bucks, we're offering a highly intangible nice feeling and, perhaps, a tax write off. I know, it hardly seems like a good deal.

But it is. I honestly believe that.

I believe in what we're doing here. And I truly believe that the people who support us financially should hold tightly to that "nice feeling" because the gifts that they give so that we can be here are changing peoples lives for the better. I know this to be true. I've seen it with my own eyes, I've touched it. It's not intangible to me. It's real. And it's worthy of every dollar spent to make it happen. (Also, I know I've been ambiguous about what it is, exactly, that we do. That's intentional, but it is by no means a secret. If you want the low-down on what we do and how we do it, I'd be more than happy to share the details of our ministry with you, just hit me up at theveryworstmissionary@gmail.com., and I'll spill.)

All of that, to say this: We need financial help.

If we lived in the states I would have taken on a part-time job at Starbucks or Big 5 or whatever, months ago. We just aren't cutting it and the reasons are plentiful:

1. A stupid budget.
We arrived here 3.5 years ago with a hypothetical budget. Turns out our hypothesis were incorrect and our budget was just stupid. Housing, gas, food, and incidentals are ALL way higher than we anticipated.

2. Rising costs.
In addition to having a stupid budget, costs have been soaring. School tuition, insurance, and general cost of living crap has been sky rocketing.

3. Effing criminals.
We've been screwed over by thieves an unbelievable number of times. We've had our house robbed, my purse stolen, two cameras taken, our car stolen, cash snagged, and a car we borrowed broken into, leaving us to replace the radio and pay for the missing roof-rack. It's gotten to the point that our coworkers greet us with "So, had anything stolen off you lately?" We're like a magnet for bandits. I'm sure you can imagine how being robbed on an ongoing basis can kill a savings account.

4. New/Unexpected Ministries
I never planned on feeding kiddos in the precario. And El Chupacabra never imagined that he'd be coaching U.S. football in Costa Rica. But we are doing these things, believing that these are opportunities to share our love for Jesus, and, more importantly, His love for us, out in the community. And that costs money, too.

So, I'm just gonna throw this out there and hope that we're all still friends afterward:

Would you please consider making a donation to our lives and ministries here in Costa Rica?

There's an easy to use, friendly looking PayPal button, right over there! See it?! ----------------->

But. If you'd like that tax write off for giving to a charitable organization, you can give through our sending agency (*who is in no way represented by the irreverent views and dirty mouth of the Very Worst Missionary*) by going HERE. Just indicate "Jamie Wright" (that's me) in the giving field and my friends over there will hook you up.

Now (and this part might be the dumbest of all)....

I've been toying with the idea of advertising on my blog - The problem is that my blog is still super lame by blog standard. I know this because I am told (on an almost daily basis) how ugly and lame it is by blog-nerds-who-care-about-these-things. And while I'm working on rectifying the high ick factor of the VWM, I was thinking that instead of advertising, we could deal in Sponsorship. So here's the deal:

If you make a donation of $10 -or more, more would be fine- by March 15th, I will link to your blog, Etsy Shop, photo gallery, homeschool supply store, dominatrix how-to manual - whatever - with a little blurb about you, at the end of a post. I know, I know. You're like "And how is that doing me any favors?" and honestly, it might not be, but this little community had grown a lot (36,000 page views just last month) and I've noticed it's found a little bit of a voice on the internet, so it may or may not help you get your stuff out there. I dunno. Like I said, this could be the dumbest thing of all..... If you're interested, just use the paypal button and leave "Sponsor" and a link to your page in the notes.

A HUGE thank you to anyone who read this whole post til the end. You're the bees knees.

Ugh! I feel like a schmuck...

..... ..... .....

Have you ever had to ask for money? Isn't it the worst?!