1.01.2014

The Rise of New Year.

Christmas fell flat this year. Like, really flat.

We had one final extended family celebration on the 26th and on the 27th, we jumped in the car and took our two youngest to Monterey for the weekend. I told everyone it was a “post Christmas getaway” but it felt more like a “GET AWAY FROM ME, CHRISTMAS!”

The second we got back, I took down the tree and packed everything up because I just wasn't feeling it. I wanted our space back. I wanted to start the new year with a clean house and clear paths. Putting all the Christmas crap away felt like a good start and when I threw the boxes back in the garage with the traditionally unfulfilled promise to “simplify next year”, I felt satisfied. Done and done.

Moving on.

El Chupacabra and I rang in the new year properly with a champagne toast and a midnight smooch in the company of good friends.

I made no resolution, because resolutions require resolve and this seems to be missing from my DNA – there's just not a lot of personal discipline going on in these parts (I'm making a sweeping hand gesture toward my whole body right now... like you can see me... sitting here in my pajamas … at noon). I don't really believe in “fresh starts” and “new beginnings”. And I'm a jerk, so I like to say things to people who are on the verge of new and exciting things, like, “Wherever you go, there you are. You can't just leave your baggage behind.” And that's pretty much exactly how I feel about New Years Eve.

Yay. Let's celebrate another year in which I can continue to not do all the things I should be doing.

But, even though I'm a pessimistic kill-joy with a craggy heart, I couldn't help but feel a twinge of excitement this morning. And even though I know I'm the exact same person I was yesterday, I like knowing that new years bring new things.

I'm ready for some new things.

When I consider all the stuff headed this way in 2014, I get a little fluttery. I feel kind of nervous mixed with happy, joy swirled with fear, pressure and encouragement all wrapped up in each other, and a deep sense of anticipation for good things to come. And hard things. And amazing things. And terrible things. And all the other things that make life... life. It's like the New Year is rising ahead of me, inviting me into something bigger than myself, challenging me to be brave and step forward, to shrink and to grow, to give and to receive, to lift and to bury, to hold tight and let go, and, most of all, to love.

The rise of a new year brings a tidal wave of Hope.

It's hope I woke up with today, Hope that doesn't simply rest in the things that will be good, but in all the things that will be. So while I may not be stepping in to the new year resolute to lose 10 pounds (though I would not hate it if that happened) or get dressed earlier (and perhaps more often), and though I'm not skipping around the house in the euphoria of a “fresh start”, I do actually welcome this new year with a certain degree of enthusiasm.

I Hope it will be... well, I Hope it will just be. And I hope we will be in it, together.


Happy New Year, friends. Let's make 2014 our b... estie.  

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Are you resolution maker? Or do you poop all over New Years, like me?